let me just start this off by saying I am in no way, shape, or form saying that this will cure all relationship problems or basically have any idea what I’m saying, so take it with a grain of salt because my relationships never work out. but with that being said, maybe this is why, enjoy.
10 Things We’ve Somehow Lost Over The Years
1. Face to Face Communication:
like I said in my previous post, we are in such a desperate need for face to face communication right now. that’s how so many arguments are started. because we aren’t able to interpret them correctly. we don’t know if they’re sarcastic, we can’t read the tone in their voice, we can’t do anything. they say that 93% of all communication is nonverbal. so how are we supposed to communicate correctly if we are really only hearing 7% of the conversation?
2. Asking Permission
People tend to assume a lot of things now a days. both men and women. we assume the person wants to go on a date. we assume they want us to call them. we assume how far they want to go. so many things. when in reality, we need to remember to ask them what they want. whatever happened to asking the father of the girl if you were allowed to take her out? asking for permission to marry? asking if they could call you to go on another date? I think this is something that can solve so many issues just by asking a simple question.
3. Coming To The Door
who in their right mind thought that pulling up to a girl’s house and honking their horn was the right way to tell her you’re here to pick her up for a date? “you don’t even have the decency to get out of your car and come to my door? well I guess I won’t have the decency to go on this date with you.” I understand if it’s your friend’s or what not, but when you are going on a date? you go to that front door.
4. Real Dancing
how can we even consider the things that people do in clubs nowadays dancing? thrusting your junk into a guy’s junk to the beat of a techno-pop song is not dancing and I don’t know who in the first place thought it was. even if you can’t do the salsa or the cha cha or the jive, there’s nothing that calms your nerves more than watching your date look like a complete fool trying to bust a move on the dance floor. and I think that builds your relationship more than trying to see how much of your bodies can touch each other in beat to a song.
5. Straight Forward Defining the Relationship
let’s list some of the words that are used in place of saying you are dating someone:
-getting to know
what do those even mean?!
are you exclusive?
are you just friends?
should I tell my mother about you?
I DONT KNOW.
just be straight up with one another about whether you are dating or not. it’s simple. and it’ll help a lot in the long run.
6. Writing Letters
now, I don’t mean you have to be Noah and write Allie a letter to her every day of the year, but maybe a cute note every once in a while. just sending mail or writing handwritten notes has gone down so drastically and it’s so upsetting to see! don’t you love the sight of seeing a letter hand-addressed to you in the mail? I know that I have a hoard of letters that people have sent me and it’s one of my most treasured possessions. you get to see their handwriting or if they spilled something on it when they were writing it. it’s like a little time capsule. remember when people used to pass notes in class? I always kept those and I love going back and reading what my friends and I were talking about at that time in my life. like a little trip down memory lane.
7. Electronic Free Dates
I know that I am guilty of this, as basically all of them, but nevertheless this one the most. we have become so attached to our cell phones that even when we’re hanging out with a person face to face we’re not mentally there. we’re constantly wondering what else is happening and degrading the person you are with. I heard a quote a while back that said “The most desired thing in the world is not love. it is focused attention.” and the reality of it hit me hard. don’t you hate when someone you’re trying to have a conversation with is texting someone else or doing something on their phone? I know I usually just stop talking and see how long it takes for them to realize I’ve stopped talking, and a lot of the time, it takes a while. I understand if something tragic happens and you need to be in contact with someone or if the date is going really badly and you need to have a back up plan. but just do yourself and your date a favor and put down the phone for an hour or two, the world won’t collapse with you of our it for a little.
8. Not Assuming Sex Is The Goal
I cannot stress this one enough. our society today is so focused on getting laid as many times as possible and not caring who its with or how it gets done. sex should never be the goal in a relationship. sex is something that was designed by God and intended for married couples and the way that it has been exploited in our society today is repulsive and degrading. women AND men are not prizes to be claimed and most certainly not objects to be used and thrown away.
9. Dating Because You Genuinely Like The Person And Not Just The Idea Of Them
I don’t understand people that are in a relationship when they don’t see it going anywhere. why waste your time, energy, money, and feelings on someone who you know you’re going to end up dumping? I think that people just like the idea of a significant other. they like having someone to talk to all the time, someone who makes them feel good, or someone to buy them things. and I get that. we all want those things. but what I don’t get is why they spend so much time on someone who they know is wrong for them.
this may be the number one thing we’ve lost over the years in relationships. ANY relationship. with our friends, our coworkers, or families, and most importantly our significant others. I have seen so many relationships that are awful, terrible relationships because they don’t trust each other and it’s so heartbreaking to see. being able to trust someone is one of my top things in a relationships and I don’t understand how others can be in a relationship with someone they don’t trust. we are constantly worrying if they’re cheating on us, lying to us, or maybe even stealing from us and what kind of relationship is that? it used to be so taboo and incredibly looked down upon if you cheated on your significant other, but nowadays? it’s just as if you forgot to take out the garbage one day. and THAT is one of the saddest things I can think of. marriage used to be something so sacred and so incredibly pure and now its looked on as a task to be accomplished or a bump in the road to happiness.
I apologize for this being so long, but I had the biggest urge to go on a rant about this.
I also came across this incredibly funny and true video form an interview on Conan (there are a few profanities) and I thought it made sense to be posted with this video.
let me know your thoughts on this!